Home Up The Black Hole Literary Review Wm. E. Allendorf, Prop.

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Date: Saturday, March 4, 1995 12:46pm /NEWSTUFF
From: Sysop Msg#: 111811
To: ** ALL **
Re: What to do if the Black Hole Implodes. (1 reply)
(cc: of #111809, Reply to #111801, Reply to #111717, Rep*)

The Gateway Internet link is installed and almost fully tested.

I've sent mail and news feeds both directions. I'm ready for a full-up
test tonight. 

In the parlance of NASA: "We're throwing the bird over the wall."

I've tried to limit the number of news feeds going to the Hole, and I'm
hoping that no one tries to send a ton of E-Mail over the next few days.
It's important we bring this off with a slow acceleration in the flow
of data. If we give the naked singularity too much to crunch on, there 
might be trouble. I've modeled this as much as possible, but in a vast
universe such as ours, there are always contingencies that are beyond human 

If any of you see a blinding flash coming from the Brentwood area followed 
by an earth-rending explosion followed by a large sucking sound. Please follow
the following procedure.

1) When you see the flash, follow standard Duck-and-Cover procedures
outlined in the Civil Defense Preparedness Handbook. Hopefully you will
not be looking directly at the flash. This is one of those times where 
"Pillar of Salt" type warnings aren't enough. Just don't look, okay?
Stay down until the first shock wave passes.

2) Depending on your distance from Ground Zero, an explosive shock wave
will pass over your location emanating from Ground Zero outward.
As soon as the blast wave passes your area, evacuate immediately in a
direction away from the source of the blast. Ground Zero will be
approximately 5.5 miles NNE of the new TV tower at the corner of
Winton and North Bend Roads. Run quickly away from Ground Zero, staying
low to the ground and do not attempt to take any personal possessions
with you.

3) 10 seconds after the outward blast, the naked singularity
within the Black Hole Literary Review will begin sucking in all a
surrounding matter in a widening sphere expanding at approximately
Mach 2.8. The resulting implosion will continue until the singularity
stabilizes with a new Schwartzshield radius of 1.80-2.70 centimeters. 
In essence a sphere of entropy will exist in North-Central Hamilton 
County just North of Fleming Road in Springfield Township. All matter 
coming near this Black Hole will be sucked in. 

4) If you are not able to escape the area before the implosion wave
begins sucking you in, hide in a ditch or lie flat on the ground and
dig in with your fingers and toes. Do not lie perpendicular to the implosion
wave. Lie in line with the force. Bury your head in the earth to
protect your eyes. Offer as low a profile as possible to the implosion.
With luck and enough distance from Ground Zero, the naked singularity
will stabilize at its new Schwartzshield Radius before you get sucked

5) Do not worry about radiation. Extensive modeling of the implosion
indicates a minimal chance that the singularity will begin rotating. As
a result minimal ionizing radiation will be created by the event. Rotating
naked singularities are particularly nasty. Should this one start rotating, 
I doubt we'll be around to notice it. As I said, there is nothing to worry 

6) If you have any questions regarding what to do if the Black Hole
Literary Review implodes may be addressed to SYSOP@holer.org.


Editor's Note:  Kallisti was gone.  The Ashram was pretty much a memory.  Finally, the Black Holer Literary Review attempted to join the Internet Age.

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