The Driveway 09/24/2007
Home Up The Black Hole Literary Review Wm. E. Allendorf, Prop.

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As I was leaving for work this morning, I noticed that I'd left the cooler out after we got back from boating over the weekend. I emptied out the water on the driveway. The garage door was already down, so I stowed the cooler by the garbage cans and left.

Thirty minutes later I was at my desk at work, starting an otherwise normal Monday morning. The phone rang. It was my wife telling me that the cops were out in front of the place. There was a backhoe beginning to dig up my driveway and I needed to talk to the guy from the Water Works, because he was about to excavate my bushes. Yikes! I hopped in the car and started driving home. On the way, I called my Dad and told him to drive over immediately. I talked to my wife again and found out that a neighbor had seen water coming up out of the driveway and called the police. I remembered the cooler and the trickle of water I'd sent down the drive.

Oh no! Please don't tell me they're digging up my driveway over that!!!

No, that wasn't the problem. I guess when I'd rolled out of the drive, it had been the last straw. The water main had cut loose just as I had left. I'd driven away leaving a gusher pouring up through the asphalt. It made me feel better that they weren't tearing up my drive just because I'd dumped my cooler before leaving. Isn't that funny? Feeling good about a water main break in your driveway? Shouldn't I be examined or something?

Well, when I got there, the backhoe had already excavated a six-foot deep hole in the end of my drive. I decided to have a laugh out of it and ran over to the bush that had been yanked up to make room for the backhoe.

"My bush! My lovely bush! What have you done?"

"Don't worry, sir. " said the foreman. "We maybe can save it."

"Oh, I'm not worried. " I replied. "I've been wanting to get rid of the darn thing for years. I just thought you'd love to have your chain yanked. " We both laughed.

It took a good long time to get down to the pipe, clean it off and then put a collar on the leak. The drought had caused undo pressures on the main and it had snapped. Then came the task of bringing in several trucks worth of sand to fill in the hole. They even put the bush back in its place. Oh, the cooler! I'd nearly forgot about the cooler. I gave all the workmen canned drinks from the cooler. It was hot, and they appreciated it.

Tomorrow they'll be back to put in asphalt and a new curb. Cheese and Rice! What a way to start a week.  Oh well, it's about 3PM. The cops are gone. The waterworks guys are gone. They had another main break over on the next street, just down from my folks. 

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