The shaman's Announcement
Home Up The Black Hole Literary Review Wm. E. Allendorf, Prop.

Sign the Guestbook       Visit the Weblog

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


#2109236 - 03/25/08 05:47 PM The shaman makes an announcement
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
It was getting on towards the late fore-noon when folks at the Campfire began hearing the blare of trumpets. Soon it became obvious that there was something afoot. A procession was coming out of the woods, heading straight for camp. In the lead was a small girl in a peasant dress, scattering rose petals from a wicker basket. Next were a line of traditionally dressed German maidens, their blond hair blowing in the stiff March wind. Then came the hunters in their lederhosen and Tyrol hats hoisting their boar spears with laurel wreathes and ribbons tied thereon. Then came the procession animals--a herd of whitetail with several nice bucks, a flock of turkey, coyotes, foxes, and a great multitude of pheasants and other game birds-- all driven by an army of handlers dressed as ghillies.

Many at the Campfire assembled along the route and watched in amazement as the trumpeters came past, then the band of hornsmen, blowing traditional hunting anthems. Floats appeared depicting among other things the story of Saint Hubert -- the stag being a good two stories high with a neon cross between its antlers. There were clowns and acrobats and a high school band or two and finally the skirl of great highland bagpipes.

After the bagpipes had passed there was a lull and then a murmur came up from the crowd. A gold and ivory chariot appeared pulled by 100 wild turkey gobblers. In front came Pooh Bear, carrying a banner. In the chariot came the shaman, and his family dressed in camouflage robes with Nosmo standing behind him holding a crown of laurels, and whispering something in his ear. The shaman waived to the crowd. The chariot pulled up to a dais that seemed to magically appear, and the shaman dismounted and motioned for the procession to move on.

"Thank you, everyone." said the shaman. "Thank you all for coming out."

"Can you hold it down?" yelled someone from the crowd. "Some of us are trying to work here!"

"My apologies." said the shaman. "I won't take up too much more of your time, but I just wanted to let you all know that I just accepted a position on the Pro Staff of the Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Laughton, Louisiana."

"Who?" yelled someone from the crowd.

The shaman repeated what he had said.

"Who are they?"

"Uh, they're a company that makes turkey calls." replied the shaman.

"So?"

"Well, I guess I just had all this stuff laying around from last November." said the shaman. "I had planned a big celebration on Saint Hubert's Day, and it didn't come off, and rather than waste it all, I thought I'd share it with you today on this happy occasion."

"So who's happy?"

"Well, I am for one." said the shaman. "I've been hunting for over 25 years, and this is the first time I ever got any recognition."

"'Never heard of them!" said someone.

"Does Rick know you're doing this?" cried another.

"Uh. . .er," said the shaman. "I didn't think you all would mind me crowing a bit. I'd pass out flyers, but that would probably go against Rick's rules. You'll just have to Google it for yourselves. "

"Does this mean you going to write for magazines?" asked somebody.

"Not necessarily." said the shaman.

"Can we still pelt you with stones and rotten vegetables?"

"I'm not planning on . . . well, you know. . .I don't want to come off as an expert. It's just that this call company contacted me and said they liked the way I wrote and wanted to know if I wanted to represent them."

"Are you getting free stuff?" asked a fellow, with an armful of tomatoes.

"They're sending me a hat." said the shaman. " and a few calls to try." The crowd began to surge forward. ". . . but I intend on giving them a serious try and reporting exactly what I think of them. I talked to the founder, a guy named Brian. He wouldn't want anything less than that." One rotten cabbage went wild over the shaman's head. "Look, guys." said the shaman. "If it will make you feel any better, I'll mount the Pillar of TrVuth and swear it."

The crowd parted and formed a gauntlet for the shaman to pass. The shaman took a deep breath and made his way to the pillar, pressed the power button and waited for the machine to POST. When it was fully booted, the shaman climbed up onto the pillar and looked out at the crowd surrounding him.

"Lessee," said the shaman. "There is not much for me to say besides the fact that I like the guys with whom I have been corresponding. They are a nice bunch of men and women. The owner seems humble enough and the calls seem reasonable enough to give them a try. If I don't like them, I can let the folks know quietly and we will let it go at that. If I do like them, I vow not to let it cloud my advice to you all here on the Turkey Hunting forum or anywhere else. Everyone knows that calling is just a small percentage of the game when you're talking turkey any way. And it ain't going to be the call as much as the caller and that's between the caller's ears. Believe me when I say that if I can make a decent call out of a piece of slate and a hickory peg, and it will call in a big old gob, there ain't much too it. The Heirloom Turkey Call company makes upscale calls and custom calls for folks that appreciate the art of fine call making, and it is not something you will find hanging off the peg at a sporting goods store. They also have some innovative ideas, but I didn't climb onto here to pitch you all. I'm up here to share some good news and let it go at that. That's my story and the Pillar can fry me if it feels like it."

Everyone including the shaman leaned over to see what would happen next. The pillar was still processing. It sat quietly churning for about 15 seconds before flickering a green light and friendly chirp. That meant there would be no bolt of lightning coming down from the heavens to strike the shaman dead. The shaman breathed a sigh and got down from the pillar. Some groaned with disappointment. There hadn't been a good frying in several months.

As the shaman passed back through the crowd, a man in a grey suit came up to the shaman.

"Good work." said the Man in the Grey Suit.

"Thanks." said the shaman, and then realized who he was.

"That's a good pitch you make." said the Man.

"Truth usually is."

"No, I really mean that."

"So do I." said the shaman. "Please, walk with me a moment. I want to get this off my chest. Let me give you some more truth. I've been thinking about you a lot since the last time we met. Honesty can be a ploy if it's done the right way. Gamesmanship, on the other hand, can be honest if it helps to bring a friend to the truth. The difference between you and me is that you see what is right for you, and you let it go at that. I see what is right for you and me both. My burden is to be aware of that and act accordingly. You have no such burden and cannot be judged. I have the self-knowledge you lack, and I therefore face judgment. I cannot sell you self-awareness anymore than I could sell paintings to the blind. You have only indifference to sell me, and that is something I don't need."

"You did really well up there." said the Man.

"Thanks." said the shaman.

"We could use a man like you." said the Man.

"No," said the shaman. "I'd probably be a miserable failure for you. I think I'll stick with turkey calls for now."
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2109256 - 03/25/08 05:56 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
T LEE T LEE
Campfire Oracle


Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 27946
Loc: Punta Gorda, FL

Offline
Great one Sir, I love your stories.
_________________________
Don't put me in a nursing home, set me out under a tree in the woods, shake my hand one last time friends, kiss me one last time my love and go about your lives.

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2109270 - 03/25/08 06:05 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: T LEE]
RockyRaab RockyRaab
Campfire Tracker


Registered: 05/23/03
Posts: 5174
Loc: Ogden, Utah

Offline
A few sour old crabs at the back of the crowd snorted in derision, and a few more in the middle of the pack turned their backs, but looked cautiously back over their shoulder as they stole away. But most of the crowd simply ambled away aimlessly, as was their wont; they had already begun wondering what reality show would be on the tube tonight.
_________________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Signed copies of my Vietnam novels at "Baggy Zero Four" "Mike Five Eight"

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2109773 - 03/25/08 10:02 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: RockyRaab]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
. . . and some time later, Pooh Bear and the shaman were sitting out on a stump together reflecting on the course of the pagent.

"So are these turkey calls any good?" asked Pooh.

"I am not sure. " said the shaman. "I have not actually had a chance to try one."

"So how can you be on the Pro Staff?"

"I would suppose that a good man would recognize the honesty in another and at the same time be able to see the light of good sense and reason. If you truly trust your product, you won't be afraid to have another gentleman try it."

"Are you a good turkey caller?" asked Pooh.

"I am good enough to get turkeys interested." said the shaman. "It's largely a business of saying just enough to provoke interest. After that, if the turkey has a mind, he'll do the rest."

"Can you show me?" asked Pooh. "It sounds fascinating."

"Sure Pooh." said the shaman. He reached into the fold of his cloak and pulled out one of his home-brew calls. "Now this here is a genuine shamanic slate call. I made this myself. It may not look like much, but it gets the job done."

"Fascinating." said Pooh. "How does it work?"

"You take a wooden peg and make a noise like this." the shaman said, demonstrating.

"That's horrible." said Pooh. "It sounds like nails on a blackboard."

"Precisely." said the shaman. "When you think about it, any animal that gets his rocks off listening to a noise like that-- well, you're doing the poor creature a great service by blowing his head off and ending his earthly misery."

"I have no doubt." said Pooh. "Is that really all there is to it?"

"Well," said the shaman. "Actually the sound of a hen turkey is a bit more complicated and subtle."

"Would you show me?"

"Sure, Pooh." said the shaman. He stood up and did a run of calls: a purr and cluck, followed by a series of excited yelps and assorted cackles and cutts."

"Ouch." said Pooh. "That hurts. What's that noise?"

"What noise?" asked the shaman. In a moment, it was obvious there was a growing din. All of a sudden the chariot appeared, roaring up the path, being pulled by a hundred panicked gobbler turkeys. The chariot bumped and crashed down the track before wrapping around a fence post, flipping and going end-over-end out into the pasture. The turkeys wadded themselves up into a ball of tethers and feathers and rolled off into the woods making horrific noises. The handlers chased after them.

"What did you say to those turkeys?" asked Pooh. "They looked quite upset when they went past."

"Drat," said the shaman, oblivious to the question. "Look at that chariot. I don't think the rental place is going to be giving me back my deposit."

Nosmo King came strolling by at this point, always one for following the action. "Cheese and Rice, shaman ol' buddy. That may be hard to buff out."

A wheel fell off and rolled down the hill.

"Don't quit that day job yet, old man." said Nosmo.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2109784 - 03/25/08 10:06 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
T LEE T LEE
Campfire Oracle


Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 27946
Loc: Punta Gorda, FL

Offline
And Pooh just went tsk, tsk, tsk as he headed back to his honey pot.

Meanwhile shaman was busy collecting chariot parts with a broom and dust pan.
_________________________
Don't put me in a nursing home, set me out under a tree in the woods, shake my hand one last time friends, kiss me one last time my love and go about your lives.

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2109803 - 03/25/08 10:12 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
Ron_T Ron_T
Campfire Guide


Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 4697
Loc: 10 miles north of Dayton, Ohio

Offline
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... great one, Shaman & TLEE !!!

You two tell a GREAT story... \:\)
_________________________
"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2110421 - 03/26/08 09:48 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: T LEE]
Boggy Creek Ranger Boggy Creek Ranger
Campfire Outfitter


Registered: 01/27/01
Posts: 9365
Loc: Leon County Texas

Offline
Suddenly the Shaman straightend from his work and cocked his good ear to windward. Faintly, borne on the breeze came the ruffle of drums and the skirl of pipes. The tune was vaguely familiar to the woods trained ears of the Shaman.

What was that tune. Ah yes, he recognized it now. Louder the tune rang through the wildwood. The Campbells are coming. Pooh bear dived for cover behind a sturdy elm as over the hillcrest and down the bosky slope a wild eyed herd of red and white soup cans bearing the appelation Turkey Noodle charged.

As the herd rolled, bumped, skipped and hopped by, Shaman wondered, from his safe perch in a hickory tree if the action was in response to his call or the sight of numerous bull turkeys pulling a now dismantled chariot.

BCR

(Sorry guys, I couldn't resist )
Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2110424 - 03/26/08 09:49 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: Ron_T]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
It was now getting on toward dusk. The shaman had been able to piece the chariot back together somewhat. If the guy at the rental store was busy, he might never notice the odd cant that it now had. At the right angle, you would hardly know anything was wrong. From the wrong angle, it now looked like it was going down the road somewhat diagonally. Most of the turkeys had stayed in their traces and had been easy to round up. It's hard to get turkeys to agree on anything, and they had managed to wrap themselves around the first tree they found and had just stood there and squabbled until the handlers had retrieved them. The shaman sat alone and dejected.

"It seemed like such a good idea." he said to himself.

"What is that?" asked a voice.

"This whole pageant thing." replied the shaman.

"I loved it thoroughly." came the response. I met a new friend here, and I am just so excited. She's beautiful.

"I'm happy for you."

"I've been looking for her for quite some time. I seem to have lost her."

"What does she look like?"

"Well, er. . . I'm not really sure. But she sounded beautiful."

The shaman looked up and realized he was talking to a turkey.

"Where did you hear her last?" asked the shaman.

"Right about here. I was over getting a hand-out of corn from the little girl in the dress, when I heard her. She spoke to me of her undying love and begged me to come away with her. I came over right away, but she was gone."

"She was, huh?" replied the shaman.

"Yes! She wanted me right away."

"And it was right here?"

"Yes. She was most insistant."

"Hmmm." said the shaman. "Did she by any chance sound a little like this?" He pulled out the call he had demonstrated to Pooh and began to scratch on it.

"Where is she?" demanded the turkey. "What have you done with her?" The turkey started to crawl up into the shaman's lap, and the shaman had to push him off. The turkey went into a strut and walked back and forth.

"Would you please shut up and go away." said the shaman.

"I must have her!"

"She's . . . she's gone. " said the shaman. "She told me that she had to leave to take care of her ailing mother, and that she'd met you in three weeks out by that big tree at the edge of the pasture."

"You lie." said the turkey.

"Honest," said the shaman. "I'll tell you what. If you're there in three weeks, and we're able to hook up, I promise-- you hen or no hen-- I'll have you for supper."

"You are quite the gentleman." said the gobbler and he strutted off.

A little later, Nosmo King came back and patted the shaman on the back, "Ol' buddy!" he said. "That was freaking hilarious! I was back over there behind the shed. I thought I was going to leave puddles watchin' you with that old gobbler."

"Stupid bird!" snorted the shaman. "We're doing them a favor!"
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2110434 - 03/26/08 09:57 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
isaac isaac
Campfire Kahuna


Registered: 07/15/06
Posts: 21062
Loc: Northern Virginia

Offline
I'm thinking the Shaman has a primo stash!!
Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2110503 - 03/26/08 10:34 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: isaac]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
"No siree! " said the shaman " This one I've got right here is a double-barreled pot call from the Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Laughton, Louisiana. You go see my buddy, Brian and tell him the shaman sent you. While you're there, ask about having him fix you up with the shamanic Spring Special, with a Dixie Darlin' box call hand tuned by the legendary Toby Benoit. . . while you're at it-"

Pooh Bear and Nosmo had to come over and slap the shaman silly to get him to stop.


"Wha?" said the shaman, still dizzy. "What happened?"

"You were attacked." said Nosmo. "Crazed turkeys knocked you over and you hit your head on a rock."

"That's it!" said the shaman. "I'm declaring war on these gobs!"





_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2110509 - 03/26/08 10:36 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
isaac isaac
Campfire Kahuna


Registered: 07/15/06
Posts: 21062
Loc: Northern Virginia

Offline
TOLDJA!! grin


Good luck with the venture, Shaman!!
Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2111397 - 03/26/08 04:12 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: isaac]
shreck shreck
Campfire Outfitter


Registered: 06/01/04
Posts: 7972
Loc: littoral North Carolina

Offline
Great post Shaman, sorry about the cabbage, I was trying for one of the guy's in lederhosen.
_________________________
Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2113132 - 03/27/08 11:51 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
The shaman was attempting to keep it simple and low-key. The pageant and its aftermath had taken a lot out of him. He woke up early and headed out to the Campfire and set down with a cup of coffee. Someone was reading the morning paper and he occupied himself reading the back page.

Big Belly Boosts Risk of Later Dementia
read a headline that caught his eye. He read the story with interest.


Big Belly Boosts Risk of Later Dementia
By MALCOLM RITTER


NEW YORK (AP) - Having a big belly in your 40s can boost your risk of getting Alzheimer's disease or other dementia decades later, a new study suggests.

It's not just about your weight. While previous research has found evidence that obesity in middle age raises the chances of developing dementia later, the new work found a separate risk from storing a lot of fat in the abdomen. Even people who weren't overweight were susceptible.

That abdominal fat, sometimes described as making people apple-shaped rather than pear-shaped, has already been linked to higher risk of developing diabetes, stroke and heart disease.

"Now we can add dementia to that," said study author Rachel Whitmer of the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, Calif.

She and others report the findings in Wednesday's online issue of the journal Neurology.

The study involved 6,583 men and women who were ages 40 to 45 when they had checkups between 1964 and 1973. As part of the exam, their belly size was measured by using a caliper to find the distance between their backs and the surface of their upper abdomens. For the study, a distance of about 10 inches or more was considered high.

The researchers checked medical records to see who had developed Alzheimer's or another form of dementia by an average of 36 years later. At that point the participants were ages 73 to 87. There were 1,049 cases.

Analysis found that compared to people in the study with normal body weight and a low belly measurement:

- Participants with normal body weight and high belly measurements were 89 percent more likely to have dementia.

- Overweight people were 82 percent more likely if they had a low belly measurement, but more than twice as likely if they had a high belly measurement.

- Obese people were 81 percent more likely if they had a low belly measurement, but more than three times as likely if they had a high measurement.

Whitmer said there's no precise way to translate belly measurements into waist circumference. But most people have a sense of whether they have a big belly, she said. And if they do, the new study suggests they should get rid of it, she said.

It's not clear why abdominal fat would promote dementia, but it may pump out substances that harm the brain, she said.

Dr. Jose Luchsinger of the Columbia University Medical Center in New York, who studies the connection between obesity and Alzheimer's disease but didn't participate in the new work, cautioned that such a study cannot prove abdominal fat promotes dementia.

But the study results are "highly plausible" and "I'm not surprised at all," he said. High insulin levels might help explain them, he said.

Dr. Samuel Gandy, who chairs the medical and scientific advisory council of the Alzheimer's Association, said the results fit in with previous work that indicates a person's characteristics in middle age can affect the risk of dementia in later life.

And it's another example of how traits associated with the risk of developing heart disease are also linked to later dementia, he said.


"Drat!!!" said the shaman out loud. He wondered to himself how quick the dementia would set in. He'd acquired his gut around the age of 40, and now at 49 it had done nothing but grow. Did this mean he should lose his spare tire right away or face senile dementia? Was it already too late? When would it set in? Should he spring to action or try and enjoy the few sane moments left before the madness hit

It quickly became a gaping black hole in his consciousness. The shaman realized it was working himself into a real snit. He sat back, sipped his coffee and tried to divert his attention to more pleasant things. There were several pieces of unopened mail in his pocket. He tossed the junk mail into the fire and then settled in with the few remaining pieces. One was from his new boss, Brian:

"Dear shaman: . . . Well, it's nap and then to the woods to put the Toms to bed and get ready for the morning.
OH, by the way, we are from HAUGHTON, LOUISIANA. I know it sounds like Laughton and my writing is no help either. I figured I best let you know before the whole country was looking for "Laughton"...LOL
Talk to you later, Brian"


"Drat!" said the shaman again. "It must be setting in already. " Then he began to wonder what else he might have screwed up. This senility thing might really put a crimp in his plans.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2113184 - 03/27/08 12:13 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
T LEE T LEE
Campfire Oracle


Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 27946
Loc: Punta Gorda, FL

Offline
A WHOLE bunch of us are in trouble it would seem!







What was that about?????????
_________________________
Don't put me in a nursing home, set me out under a tree in the woods, shake my hand one last time friends, kiss me one last time my love and go about your lives.

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2113317 - 03/27/08 01:31 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: T LEE]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
"The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . .The Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton. Louisiana . . ."

The shaman keeps his eyes shut and mutters this as a mantra.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2114852 - 03/28/08 06:33 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
The second letter was from The Heritage Turkey Call Company of Laughton Louisiana.

"Dear Showman," read the second letter. "We're all still scratching our heads down here as to why you picked us, but we will do whatever it takes to fulfill your request for a thousand calls. My brother and I have only made a few turkey calls and given them out to family members. However, if you give us some time, we'll get to work on your Showmanic series calls. Harley's kid, Elvis has a woodburning kit and was thinking of putting this on the back:



By the way, we were originally thinking of calling ourselves "The Big Top Call Company." However, we like your name "Heritage" a lot better. Thank you for picking us.

Sincerely,


Bill "Brain" Wormer.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2117068 - 03/29/08 06:13 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
" I feel so middle-aged." said the shaman. "I can't believe it!"

"What's the matter, ol buddy?" asked Nosmo.

"I must have misspelled the company name on some of my correspondence." said the shaman. "Now I'm not only signed up with the Heirloom Turkey Call Company of Haughton, Louisiana, but I'm also now got the Heritage Turkey Call

Company of Laughton Louisiana out looking for me. They got one of my letters and they think I'm going to sell

their calls for them."

"Lemme see the letter," said Nosmo. He read it carefully. "No, see they misspelled your name. They think you're Mister Showman, not "the shaman." That's a big difference. I would put this letter back in the mail and tell them

'Nobody here at this address.'"

"Do you think that will straighten it out?"

"Just like that."

"Thanks, Nosmo." replied the shaman. "This whole thing with the senility has got me a bit over-wrought. You're

right. It should be simple to straighten out."

"See?" said Nosmo. "Your ol' buddy Nosmo is good for these things. What else have you got."

"I found another letter." said shaman. "Listen to this. It's from the Heirco Smudgepot Company of Houghton Lake Michigan. Thank you for your order Mister Shaman. To be honest, we had not ever heard of smudge pots being used to ward off turkeys. However, per your instructions, we are beginning work on your order for 1000 custom smudgepots built on our 1000-series Mk I design. Your logo, along with the motto: "Guaranteed not to make turkeys laugh!" will be imprinted on the side. On receipt of this letter, a down payment of $10,000 US is required." He threw the letter into the air "Scratch Pots! I said Scratch Pots!" he yelled and stamped off towards his cave.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2117073 - 03/29/08 06:28 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
T LEE T LEE
Campfire Oracle


Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 27946
Loc: Punta Gorda, FL

Offline
Well, there goes the rest of my 401K says the shaman, guess I will have to open an Internet store next.

"Hmm says the Pooh, time for some more HUNEY."

"I wonder what I should call it" says the shaman.

"I know, I know" says Pooh, "the shamans 24 hour Heritage Heirloom Heirco Turkey call & repellent Emporium. LLC.com".

the shaman shakes his head dropping his headpiece, "Oh bother, I wonder what will show up with the mail next?" Just the the biggest UPS truck the shaman has ever seen pulls up to his cave.....................

Stay tuned folks, get out the popcorn. I think this is gonna get better.
_________________________
Don't put me in a nursing home, set me out under a tree in the woods, shake my hand one last time friends, kiss me one last time my love and go about your lives.

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2119042 - 03/30/08 06:41 AM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: T LEE]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online

The next day, the shaman came out of his cave and wandered up towards the mailboxes. His friends, had all gathered at the mailboxes. Shaman could see what was up. They were waiting.

"I suppose you're not going to let me sit down and get a cup of coffee." he said.

"You betcha, ol' buddy." said Nosmo. "Go ahead. Open it up."

The shaman opened his mailbox and pulled out a single letter.

"Dear Comrade Shaman.

We are glad to receive your order rather 1000, the tanks based on Turkish T-1000. However, our engineer speaks, that it he does not understand the project of a turret. It shows measurement of only 10 CM and barrel of .3 CM in diameter. Obviously it - by mistake, and the engineer should consider original figure of the CAD. Enginner applies to receives the appropriate Visa to travel. You would be to meet it to converse in Amsterdam on 23 of April?

Ivil Czerkimaff
The General Director
National Factory of Munitions #3
Hatanlik 17 Albania"


The shaman stuffed the letter back into the envelope and placed it back into the box, shut the lid and then walked gloomily back to his cave. He was not seen the rest of the day.
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2119491 - 03/30/08 12:15 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
remseven remseven
Campfire Guide


Registered: 04/13/06
Posts: 4023

Offline
That does it!

Off to Military Surplus, for some kevlar camo.

Anyone know what brand name will deflect .3CM bore diameter?
Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2119581 - 03/30/08 12:55 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: remseven]
derby_dude derby_dude
Campfire Tracker


Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 6321
Loc: Montana, Lewis and Clark Count...

Offline
Ah! Poor Shaman for all his posting he is still stuck on 2203! \:D

Congrats to a great Turkey!!!! \:D
_________________________
Tim

“If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.” General George S. Patton Jr.

"Self-reliance, free thinking, and capitalism is anathema to both the power of government and the Church." Derby Dude

Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2119940 - 03/30/08 04:15 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: derby_dude]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
". . . and all of this shall be lost like tears in rain."

-- Blade Runner
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer


Top Reply Reply Quote Quote Quick Reply Quick Reply Quick Quote Quick Quote Notify Notify Email Post Email Post
#2916992 - 03/27/09 05:09 PM Re: The shaman makes an announcement [Re: shaman]
shaman shaman
Campfire Guide


Registered: 12/28/02
Posts: 2807
Loc: Neave, KY

content Online
"Well, it isn't quite a brass band, and the rental company won't talk to me since I brought the chariot back. As with most things these days since the wire foundry let me go, even this announcement is getting re-used." the shaman spoke from beside the Pillar of TrVth to no one in particular. Pooh and Nosmo were there, but even they were more paying attention to the light rain.

"I am proud to announce that I have been asked to join the Pro-Staff team of Turkey and Turkey Hunting . This is on top of a similar post at Deer and Deer Hunting and my duties with the Heirloom Game Call Company of Haughton, Louisiana. "Gentlemen, would you do the honors?"

Nosmo and Pooh ran over to beside the shaman's tent and pulled back a sheet:







The rain started coming down a bit more, and Nosmo looked up at the sky and then over to the shaman. The shaman nodded. Nosmo balled up the sheet, threw it into the tent.

"Y'all want to come into the tent for some coffee?" asked the shaman.

Nosmo shook his head at first and then met Pooh's look.

"Yeah," said Nosmo. "Sure."
_________________________
Genesis 9:2-4 Ministries Lighthearted Confessions of a Cervid Serial Killer

 


Hit Counter visits

   

  2001, 2010 William E Allendorf , All Rights Reserved                                            Powered by  myexissatan